Transformers -The rise of the Decepticons
No I haven’t gone mad, nor am I talking about the cars that turn into robots and try and take over the earth, only to be thwarted by Shia LaBeouf and friends. What I’m talking about is women, yes that’s right WOMEN.
As I dashed home from work to get rid of my day make-up. I transform myself into the night-time party goddess everyone expects; full face of slap, Spanx and half a can of hairspray, I take a glance in the mirror and feel I’ve scrubbed up well.
After the drinks start flowing at the party and the conversation heats up, talk turns to dating. One of the guys pipes up and says ‘it’s hard for men nowadays as you never know if you’re going home with a Decepticon or not’. I press him for an explanation ‘women are like Transformers, a Decepticon is a women who has so much fakeness to her, she looks completely different when it’s all gone’.
As a hair and beauty journalist that statement got me thinking, have we turned into a nation of Decepticons?
With all manner of fakery at our disposal these days it’s hard not to just use whatever you can, to look as perfect as you can. Nowadays transforming yourself doesn’t just stop at a slick of lipstick and a dusting of rouge, or maybe nipping yourself in with a tight corset. No, no it finds itself on a surgeons table having a boob or even bum job, glueing lashes on or turning the palest of skin into a Caribbean brown masterpiece.
Personally I would never leave my house without mascara and wouldn’t dream of going on a night out without a full face of make-up. I have no problem standing up all night as my Spanx are too tight and if my non-ample bussom needed a ‘Hello Boys’ moment, I would know exactly where to turn. Does this make me a decepticon?
I do understand party boys point, no man want’s to go home with stunning 34D, slim, long-haired beauty and wake up with a flat chested, chubster who’s ponytail is on the floor and eyelashes stuck to her cheek. Just like we would hate to go home with Mr comb-over, pigeon chest, beer belly and ‘sock stuffed’ boxers.
Welcome to 2011, where you can go from NO to WOAH with a trip to your local department store. Is this such a bad thing or is it just a byproduct of having all of this at our disposal, surely if the Victorians had St Tropez they would have never wanted to be pale?!
Great make-up and hair is a surefire way to feel good about the way you look. Whether it’s a full face or a more natural look, it should enhance what you have not transform you into a fakery-fueled being that even your mother wouldn’t recognise.
My conclusion is we are not all good girls gone bad, there’s still hope! Ladies there’s nothing wrong with being a Transformer, but stay away from the dark side, the Decepticons loose remember!